We All Need Saving
by LoisLane1986
Summary: Akemi had been traveling with the Doctor for 6 years since she was 20. But one day everything changed that and shes in a new reality, the Doctor has a new companion and he believed her dead. Can she save him? Truth be told, We All Need Saving. This is an 11/OC fic. Don't read if you don't like these types of stories.
1. Chapter 1

**_Prologue_**

_She had been on the streets for almost three months. Getting a meal here and there. She hadn't been sleeping either. But that was the life on the streets. But she was trying to find him. A man she was torn from that she wanted to get back to. She had changed history by choosing to put the heart back into the TARDIS, knowing a part of it had stayed within her and then she didn't go through the void, she didn't get stuck in the parallel world. She couldn't leave him. She promised him forever. And that's exactly what Akemi was going to give him._

_As she walked the streets of London, a place she had loved since she was a child and hadn't really been to she couldn't help but look sad. His voice reminded her of London. The smell of french fries made her think of him. The way people spoke, everything reminded her of him. She wasn't exactly sure how she would find him but she would._

_She had on her winter hoodie with a winter gray coat that kept her warm and she had on gloves. Her curly hair blew in the wind as she walked. Her shoes were now completely soaked through. She pushed through the pain she felt in her body. The lack of sleep and food was now starting to get to her, even with the help of the Bad Wolf, it could only do so much for her._

_The rain was pounding down so hard she felt like she was being hit with daggers, a pain that was sent through her entire body. She knew she was crying but she was waiting, waiting for that blue box to appear. She knew her body was close to giving out on her but she would fight to stay awake and upright until he came back. Until she found him._

_She was completely soaked through and it had only been about 2 minutes since it started to downpour. Her hair was soaking wet, her clothes were too. She just kept walking, looking around noticing people watching her but she didn't care. None of them were the Doctor. A man she loves and would do anything for. And that's just what she did. She had to disappear to fix the rip she had created. But she didn't know what that would do to his time stream._

_She finally rounded the corner to see something that made her cry more than she was already. It was the TARDIS she could feel it. She could feel her inside her head. She started to walk faster towards the doors before falling._

_"NO! I can't, not yet. Please" She cried out sobbing._

_She fought to move and she was crawling and falling as she got closer. She couldn't let this be the end. She found the strength to stand up and walk towards the doors which let her in easily. She knew they would. She saw him. She saw him clear as day but then she saw her. A woman, around 5'4" blond, glaring at her. Akemi couldn't help but feel sad._

_"Akemi?" She heard him speak. His voice was different, so was his face but she knew it was him._

_She couldn't do anything but smile as she lost her grip on the door and fell right to the floor, her head contacting with the solid ground and her world going black._


	2. Chapter 2

_**Two years ago**_

She loved his swinging chair under the console. It was fun. Of course he usually yelled at her for sitting in it but just kissed her and told her not to break it. It was a benefit of being married to a Time Lord. The perks of winning arguments, getting to sit in their favorite chair. She heard her best friend Lindley yelling as she came into the console room and she couldn't help but laugh and smile. Rory had done something to piss her off, not on purpose but he was Rory. He couldn't help it.

He was going to need some help thought causing her to move from spot in her comfy chair to the stairs. As she reached the top she saw her best friend sitting with her arms crossed and Rory looking guilty. She couldn't help but laugh some more as she sat next to Lindley.

"So what did you do?"

"Nothing really. I just...I forgot it was her birthday."

"Awe, well that's easy to do in the TARDIS."

Lindley shot her a glare "Hey, no. You can't take his side. You're my bestie. You're supposed to be on my side."

"I am, all the way. Bestie power all the way. But how can you be mad at a face like that?"

Rory did look defeated causing Lindley to smile and laugh and groan in submission. Lindley had a definite weak spot for her husband. She loved him no matter, even though he waited for her for two thousand years. That right there spoke volume. She patted the seat next to her telling Rory to come sit. And he did with a great big smile on his face.

Akemi got up and walked over to her husband who was doing whatever he usually did to the console and smiled. Every regeneration was a surprise to her but this one she felt like he was more open and had a more child like behaviour.

He could feel her looking at him. And he didn't mind, he liked to show off in front of her. It made him feel like he was spectacular. He glanced at her and smiled, she was always smiling at him, her eyes just saying how much she loved him. And he couldn't help but feel his hearts skip a beat because he didn't know he would ever get this lucky.

"Enjoying the show are we?"

"I just like watching you work."

"How are the Ponds?"

Akemi peered over and saw her best friend and her husband making out causing her to grimace and close her eyes. She loved her best friend to death, she really did, but she didn't need to see that happening right in front of her. She shook the image from her mind as best as possible before giving him an answer.

"They are currently making out. I mean up! Making up."

The Doctor smiled and laughed a bit. "Oh, Lindley. Always impulsive. Rory never stood a chance of not falling in love with her. Truth be told they complete each other. Much like we do. Opposites attract one another. Much like magnets, or in space how the polarity of planets happen."

"I love you, I do. But please."

He smirked at her, now fully facing her his hands in his pockets. "Oh, alright then. Enough rambling. Where should we go next?"

Suddenly out of nowhere Rory and Lindley appeared at Akemi's side, making her jump a bit. A second ago they were kissing and the next they were standing right there as if nothing had happened. Akemi frowned because the Doctor didn't even notice that they just appeared. She felt like she missed something.

"Weren't you guys just making out?"

She suddenly felt three pairs of eyes look at her in confusion. She was used to them looking at her like that, with the things she said she granted those looks but at this moment she didn't do anything. The fact that they were looking at her like that made her feel so uneasy. Had she missed something?

"Akemi, we've been standing here for the past five minutes" Lindley stated, she looked worried for her best friend.

Akemi just looked at them all in disbelief "What? No, you haven't. You and Rory were just making out, which I did not need to see,"

"Like we do when the two of you do it?" Rory stated getting glares from both Lindley and Akemi "Just ignore me."

"Are you feeling alright?" Lindley asked.

She thought for a moment, maybe she just didn't hear them come up. She could have been lost in her husband's eyes, it happened often to her. She would just lose her train of thought, where she is, everything just by looking in his eyes. She cleared her throat and shook her head a bit before smiling. If something was off she wasn't going to alarm anyone.

"Yeah, yeah. You know me and my brain. I register things way late. So where are we going?"

"Barcelona!"

"Really? You're going to finally take me there?"

"Hey, I had things going on, saving earth, saving 27 planets, getting married, fixing time. It's been a busy time for me. I even regenerated in all of that."

She couldn't help but laugh at her husband. She turned to say something to Lindley and Rory but they were gone. They were there just a second ago. And now they weren't. Something was definitely wrong, they couldn't have disappeared that fast. She went to say something to the Doctor but he was also gone. Panic was quickly settling in. She was alone in the TARDIS, no clue what was going on, what had happened. The three people she loves the most had just disappeared. And she didn't know what to do.

She heard the door open and heard familiar laughs come in and as she turned around she saw all three of them, walking in like nothing was wrong. She felt so out of place, time was moving around her but she wasn't going anywhere. What was going on? She must have still looked scared because she heard the Doctor saying her name in a panic, snapping her out of her thoughts to look at him, he had moved to her side with worry in his eyes.

"What is it, what's wrong? How did you get back here?"

She just looked at him in confusion and fear. She felt like she was losing her mind, like time was working against her, stealing moments that she would cherish forever. She grabbed hold of him to make sure he stayed put, her eyes never leaving his.

"Something is wrong with me."

Lindley and Rory walked up, wondering what was going on. And the look on Akemi's face scared Lindley to the core. She had never seen her look like that. That look of fear was the worst look she's ever seen in her best friend's eyes. Something was wrong, she could just tell.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

Akemi shook her head fast her eyes never leaving her husband's "I don't know. Time is moving faster around me. I was just standing here talking to you guys about going to Barcelona, then I was alone in here and you guys came through the door laughing. Something is seriously wrong!"

This was a weird feeling, the feeling like you were going crazy, like you were going to be seen differently. Back home, people would have judged her, treated her like she was mentally ill, instruct her to see someone. But she knew the Doctor wouldn't do anything like that to her. He knew how she felt about those kinds of things. He simply took out his sonic and scanned her and when she didn't swat him away he knew something was incredibly wrong.

Frown lines set in on his forehead when he read the readings. Her Huon Particles were slowing down at an accelerated rate that made the Doctor nervous. He didn't know what to do, it was something he had never seen before, something he had never dealt with. How was he going to tell his wife he couldn't help her? He always saved her. This time he couldn't.

Akemi was on the verge of tears. He wasn't saying anything and that was bad. He always had something to say. Whatever the scan showed him must have scared him enough not to say a word.

"Doctor?" She choked out "What is wrong with me?"

"Time around you is slowing down at an accelerated rate. Soon you'll be in a suspension of time and it's all my fault."

Akemi, Lindley, and Rory all looked confused. They couldn't fully understand how it was his fault. What exactly did he do to make him say it was his fault. Lindley stepped forward, her expression read fear to the Doctor and he understood what she was afraid of. Losing her best friend.

"Doctor, how is this your fault?"

"Because I brought her along, she took in the heart of the TARDIS to save me. If I hadn't sent her away she wouldn't be going through this."

"I made the choice, not you, to come back for you. If I never came back none of us would be here. Just...please tell me how we fix this."

The Doctor turned his back to the three of them, a hand resting on the console. How could he tell his wife that he couldn't save her this one time? That she was going to be stuck in time suspension for the rest of her life while he went on with his. How could he do that to her?

"We can't." He was meet with three 'What's' at the same time. He closed his eyes "I can't stop the rate at which time is slowing down around you. The rate that it's going everything around you will be accelerated and you'll be watching. I'm not sure if it will be for a day, a week, a month, a year, two years, or forever." He turned back to them, knowing full well what each of them were thinking. His eyes locked with his wife's eyes. "I can't save you this time. I don't know how. But no matter what, I will not stop looking till I find a way. I promise you that. Do you hear me?"

Akemi just stared at him his voice was becoming more distant and she just nodded. He was speeding up, everything he said sounded fast to her. It wasn't until she saw everyone around her moving so fast that she realized, she was out of time. Time that she wanted so much and it had been ripped away from her. She was no longer in the TARDIS she was just in the vortex, sort of. Watching every time the TARDIS showed up. Her hearts broke. This was absolute torture.

She needed to find a way back to him, a way back home. But how was she going to even do that. Then she thought about it. Her Huon Particles was probably out of wack. Something must have happened in the vortex to make them shift. All she had to do was figure out how to shift them back.

She focused as hard as she could. She wasn't sure what to do exactly but she just focused like she never had before. She felt like it was working but when she opened her eyes she was in the middle of London. People passing by her so quickly, so quick that she couldn't even tell what they were wearing. She was dressed as though it were winter out. Maybe if she found a specific point to slow it down she could stabilize it. She rolled her eyes, now she was sounding like the Doctor.

She frowned in sadness. Oh how she missed him. His laugh, his gleefulness, his smarts, the way he talked, walked, smelled. Everything about him. She missed. She was surprised to see that everything around her had slowed down enough around her that it was normal. Weird, she thought. She wasn't even focusing anymore it just happened. She wasn't sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing but she took the chance. She walked over to a window and saw the date and nearly passed out.

It was August 2nd, 2014. Exactly two years since she was last with her husband, her best friend Lindley and her husband Rory. She had been gone for two years. And then she realized another problem. She was in London. She didn't know anyone in London. Rory was from Ledworth originally but he had moved to Long Island after marrying Lindley. Not only was she two years in the future. But she was alone in a city which she had only been a few times. And each time she had a place to go back to.

She turned to leave before bumping into a young woman. She was about 5'7" in height, two inches shorter than Akemi, her hair was curly like Akemi's just blonder and not so corkscrewed, and her eyes were a blue green. In fact, she had a lot of features that reminded her of both Rory and Lindley, but it had only been two years. They couldn't have had a kid that fast and it be this grown. She just had one of those faces she guessed.

"I-I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Quite alright" the young woman said. She was American. "Do you need help?"

Akemi looked around nervously like the Doctor, Lindley, and Rory were all going to pop out and yell 'Gotcha!' but she knew that wasn't going to happen. They all thought that she must be dead. Or still stuck in time or both.

"I-Um- I'm not sure."

"Okay, well do you have a place to stay? Money? Clothes?"

Akemi gave the woman a sheepish smile "Listen, I'm sure you're a nice person, lovely in fact. But I can't be putting people out an-" She stopped midsentence when the young woman handed her a key and piece of paper.

"That's the address to my flat here in London. There's spare clothes from my room mate which she didn't take when she left. And the fridge is fully stocked. I'll be back in about three months to pack things up. I'm moving to America."

And with that last sentence the young woman was walking away from where she once stood, leaving a stunned, confused and speechless Akemi just standing there. Once she regained her functions she turned to stop the woman but she was already gone. There was something about her that was real familiar to her and she couldn't quite put her finger on it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Present Time**

Akemi felt a pounding in her head, like she had been drinking all night. A feeling that she's always hated which is why she never drank that much. She tested her body to make everything still worked properlly. Everything was fine, nothing was broken at least as far as she knew, she felt warm though. As if someone had placed her by a heater. She couldn't remember what had happened.

She slowly opened her eyes and looked around. She wanted to jump for joy but even though her body was all in one piece didn't mean everything was ready to move. She was back home, back in the TARDIS. She propped herself up on her elbows when she suddenly felt the blanket slip a bit on her body. She looked down and smirked, of course he couldn't wait to get her naked. Then she paused.

That woman. There was a woman and she was glaring at her when she had originally entered. It was a look of anger and jealousy. Like Akemi had invaded her space. When it was the other way around. She shifted around and clutched the blanket to her, fully standing up she looked around. No one was in the console room with her. But she knew better.

She slowly walked up the stairs and stopped at the console, slowly stroking it, feeling a warm feeling envelope her as she smiled. The TARDIS had missed her and she had missed the TARDIS. She could feel the TARDIS in her head, hugging her tight and hoping she never leaves. She walked away from the console to the other stairs and went to the swinging chair. There he was. Just sitting and swinging, staring at her smiling. She smiled at him but it wasn't her usual one, just like his wasn't his normal smile.

"You've aged" She said.

"You haven't." He said

She frowned. Being stuck in that time stasis, a name that she recently decided to call what that place was, had slowed down any sign of aging no matter how little it was. It wasn't visible at all.

"Time Stasis. It prevents showing any sign of aging no matter what."

He turned back to working on the TARDIS "I put your clothes in the dryer. You were soaked to your bones. How did you get like that?" He asked, stopping what he was doing.

She stared at him for a bit "I've been living on the streets for three months. I met a woman six months ago who let me stay with her but when she moved, I couldn't leave London. I knew you would come back."

He stood up, ready to say something when they both heard a clearing of a throat. Looking up, Akemi saw the same blond girl, wearing the same glare. She couldn't understand what her problem was. It wasn't as if she was there for longer than Akem was. Or maybe she had been.

"Whos she?" the blond asked

"She is named Akemi. And you are?" Akemi replied.

"Rose. Rose Chandler."

"Good to meet you. Now wipe that glare off your face."

"Oi, I was here first"

Akemi snorted and walked back over to where her clothes were "Yeah, sorry. I'm his wife."

Rose looked at her in disbelief "That impossible. The Doctor doesn't do domestic"

"Never said he did. But," she held up her hand "Gallifreyan wedding band. He has it too, hope you didn't just think that he loved wearing rings."

Rose glared even more and looked at the Doctor "She's lying right? Tell me she's lying. It's not true."

The Doctor walked slowly up the stairs watching his wife get dressed with sad eyes. It had been two years since he had lost her. He wasn't the same guy anymore. He would use Rose for flirting and sex but never mentioned he was married. He had died inside at Akemi's disappearance. He knows what Akemi will think of him when he told her the truth.

Akemi looked over sad "He knows I'm not. I'm sorry, Rose. But it seems your in love with a man who's married. And I'm in love with a man who's gone."

"Don't say that."

"You are. You're not him. You haven't been for two years. I can feel it." She started to walk only to fall over. Her body was still recovering and she found herself in the arms of the Doctor.

"I've got you. Don't worry."

She pushed him away gently holding herself up. "I'm fine thanks." She looked around "Where's Lindley and Rory?"

"Gone."

She narrowed his eyes at him "What do you mean, gone? What did you do?"

"They left, after a year. They left. Lindley couldn't stand to be here anymore. After you left, we, things got bad. I got withdrawn and they left."

Akemi nodded and looked at Rose. She couldn't help but feel bad for her. She was caught in the middle of something she knew nothing about. So the only thing Akemi knew to do was walk over and hug Rose. She knew nothing about the girl.

The Doctor stopped Akemi before anything and gave her a look to caution her. Apparently, Rose wasn't the nicest of people. She looked him in the eye and looked at Rose. This was a new dynamic. The Doctor has always picked people who were special, good natured. But the way he cautioned her just now, really bothered her.

She took a step back from her, turning her back to him and Rose. She wasn't ready for this yet. She wasn't ready to face any of this. She just wanted to come back home. Be with her husband and her friends. Not come back to two years later, Lindley and Rory not with the Doctor anymore and that she's been replaced with a blond who apparently isn't very safe. Well secrets have a way of getting out.

She hadn't realized how close she had gotten to the door. She could just run. She could leave and never turn back. Let him live his life with Rose and never have to worry about her again. Could she really do that to him? Leave him after she's just found him? She didn't think long before her hand was on that handle, and swinging the door open before it was abruptly shut right in her face. With a force so angry she knew what person did it.

She looked up and was met with a pair of blazing blue eyes staring right into her hazel ones. They were burning with anger at her. Everytime she kept trying to open the door, he kept slamming it shut. It got to the point of him having to sonic the door shut, a move he did before when Rory was erased from time. He needed a way to keep Lindley in the TARDIS.

She pushed away from the door, glaring at her husband. "What? Are you planning on keeping me here against my will?"

"Yes."

Akemi did a double take "I'm sorry. What?"

"You are not leaving the TARDIS until we get everything sorted out."

"Listen, I've had two years alone. I finally figure out how to control my abilities and I come back to be trapped inside my own home."

Rose snorted "This isn't your home. Never was never will be. Why are you even here?"

Akemi glared over her husband's shoulder. She had never been a violent person unless provoked. And she's had two years of pent up anger about being stuck in Time. Just watching, not talking to anyone, no contact. Nothing.

"Listen blondie. I was here long before you were. Okay? Jealousy is not a flattering color on you. What does married even mean to you? It means that in order for me to have married him, I would have been here for a while."

"You've been gone for two years. It's not like you really cared."

The Doctor bellowed "Rose. Stop it."

Akemi put up her hand. "I can handle her, Doctor. To tell you the truth, Rose. I was trapped. In time. See when you love someone, you do anything and everything to protect them, to save them. That's what I did. I took the heart of the TARDIS inside of me to save him. A piece of the TARDIS heart stayed inside of me. Changed me. I'm more like him than you'll ever be. You can't be what he needs. I can't even but at least I've done everything possible to make sure he's safe."

"The TARDIS isn't alive."

"Oh, Rose. She's alive. She feels, she sees. She talks. So far she's told me that having you on board has not been fun for her. She doesn't think you should be here anymore. You're invading her space."

"I don't care. This is my home. Not yours so push off."

Akemi just smiled and laughed "Wow, Doctor. You sure do know how to pick them nowadays. She's not particularly bright this one."

Rose let out a low growl as she walked over to Akemi. "Listen here you bitch. You left. I don't care if it was by choice or not. You left. Now I'm here. So listen and just, shove, OFF."

Rose wanted to make a point that she was a scrappy fighter and by doing that shoved Akemi a bit in the shoulder. And Akemi just laughed it off. She thought it was hilarious, a shove. What was that going to do? Make her shake in her boots? But when Rose smacked her across the face she got a bit mad. She doesn't hit unless it's in self defense. She gave Rose a cold hard look.

"You try that again, you'll find yourself on the floor in pain. Do I make myself clear?"

This time Rose laughed and raised a hand to hit Akemi once again. Too bad the Doctor never knew this side of Akemi. She heard him gasp as Akemi grabbed Rose around her wrist, twisted her arm back and straight up forcing her face to be close to her knee, her knee connecting with Rose's face and then she flipped her. Akemi just stared straight down at Rose.

She didn't like violence, didn't mean she didn't know how to protect herself. She stood there, staring down at Rose in disgust. The Doctor was traveling with a woman who couldn't keep her cool. That wasn't like him at all. What had changed in the past two years? She turned and glared at the Doctor.

"You open those doors, now. I'm not staying here."

He glared right back at her but in a different way. In a way that scared her. "You're staying. And while you stay we're going to have a chat you and I. Rose. Take a walk."

Rose had slowly gotten to her feet from the floor. She tossed the pair a dirty look as she headed for the door, stopping suddenly as it swung open. She didn't question but she walked slowly through and yelped a bit as it slammed shut behind her. Now, Akemi was alone, in the TARDIS with her husband after beating up his companion. She was not looking forward to this.

"I thought you were stuck in a stasis."

"I was."

"So where did you learn to fight like that?"

He was glaring holes into her. She could feel his eyes boring into her soul like she had none. He was beyond mad. Beyond angry, she had never seen him like this and in her honest opinion he really didn't have a right to be. She had decided that she was ready to leave but felt her arm get caught and the pressure was painful. She couldn't believe he was grabbing her like this but then again, she couldn't believe much of anything anymore. She didn't know this man anymore nor did she trust him.

"Let, go." She said in a low voice that sounded almost like a growl.

"You are not leaving until you give me some answers."

"Why? Hm? You were never forthcoming with me. You were never up front with _me_. What makes this any different?"

"You beat up Rose."

"Oh, I get it. She hits me and when she goes to do it again and I defend myself, I'm automatically the bad guy? I don't know you, Doctor. I'm starting to think I never did."

The grip on her arm got tighter as his face got closer to her's, his eyes never leaving her's. "Don't you say that. Don't you dare, say that. You know me. But right now I hardly know you."

"Me? You never asked if I could defend myself. Think about it Doctor. I had a brother in the military, another who did martial arts. I do kickboxing. What? You don't think that my brother's taught me how to protect myself? Hell even Lin taught me moves. I know how you feel about violence which is why I never used it. But if someone hits me and tries it again, I will defend myself. And I will not apologize for it. Now, let go. Before I make you."

He could hear the threatening tone in her voice, a part of him actually wanted to see what she would do but another part of him didn't want to press his luck, so he just loosened his grip enough so that he was still holding her, but more her hand than her arm. He wanted answer and so did she, problem was they had both changed from their time away.

She cleared her throat, she couldn't expect him to fully let her go so she just let him hold onto her hand the way he was. Of course it brought back many memories but she didn't care. She didn't know if this was where she wanted to be. For the first time, she actually felt like she was around an alien, and that scared her.

"Now, as far as little miss sunshine goes. Keep your girlfriend on a shorter leash. Got it? If she can't take a fight, she shouldn't start them. I have no clue what her problem is but it's not my fault you never told her you were married."

"She's not my girlfriend, she's my companion."

"You sure about that? I could see it in her eyes, hear it in her voice, she was upset when she heard me say that you were married and I was your wife. She's in love with you, Doctor."

"And what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Are you still in love with me?"

She hesitated before answering. "I don't know. I'm in love with the man I last saw two years ago. He was always smiling, happy, wouldn't have someone like Rose on board. That's the man I'm in love with but, the man I see before my eyes breaks me hearts because I see anger and rage and no compassion for anything. You've let yourself die inside. You've given up. You're not you."

The Doctor just stared at her in disbelief. He was hoping...he wasn't sure what he was hoping for but, he didn't want to hear that kind of an answer. That was something he wasn't prepared to hear. He dropped her hand, he was ready to give up. He clenched and unclenched his hands as he slowly turned from her, walking up to the console.

He couldn't argue with the fact that he wasn't the man he was two years ago. It was a big reason why Lindley and Rory left. That and she got pregnant, gave birth and her baby turned out to be a child of the TARDIS but, that wasn't his story to tell. He was getting careless, his anger over losing her had gotten to him that he began to not care about what happened to himself or others. Sure he'd save a planet or race here or there. But he didn't care very much, nothing mattered to him anymore since Akemi had disappeared.

He leaned against the console, much like he did when he was stressed or couldn't really explain something. The things he did while Lindley and Rory were there, the things he's done while Rose has been with him. Akemi is right, he wasn't him. He had given up, he had let himself die inside.

He flinched a bit when he heard her speak. "What are you not telling me?"

He looked right at the middle of the console "A lot. But when have I ever told you everything? Hm?"

"You should start. You locked me in, said that we should talk. So talk."

He sighed, bringing up a hand to rub his eyes. "What do you want to know?"

"Who are you?"

He still had his back to her, his hand resting back on the console. "You know who I am."

"Do I? You wont tell me where my best friend is. You have a woman like Rose on board but, I'm guessing if she actually get's over her jealousy she could be okay. And you, you walk and talk as if you've done unimaginable things."

"Akemi...I...I have done things. Things you wouldn't approve of. Things that would make you hate me."

"Like letting people or planets die? Doctor, you can't keep blaming yourself for what you had to do to save everyone and everything from the time war."

He turned and looked at her stunned. She still thought he carried that guilt, the guilt he put away from the first day he had met her. She had made him better. And with her gone, he had gotten worse.

"Akemi. Just know, I love you."

**Sooo sorry for the lateness in updating. I have another story to update but I've just been soooo incredibly busy. Currently working on the next chapter! Please leave me whatever you'd like :-)**


	4. Chapter 4

_**One Year Ago**_

Lindley just sat there, in the pilot's chair, like usual. She stared at the console. It had been a year since Akemi disappeared into...she didn't even know where she had ended up. She just knew her best friend was trapped. Stuck, in a place where she couldn't get out. And the one person who promised to find a way to save her was doing just nothing.

The Doctor had been acting reckless since Akemi disappeared. Like he had no reason to care anymore, no reason to feel, no reason to live. It was like he had given up. And what Lindley had been witnessing, he had. He would bring Rory and her to dangerous planets. Even when Lindley had gotten captured and rescued by Rory and the Doctor, the Doctor still acted in a reckless way. Endangering her, Rory and their baby.

She knew Beth would be okay, she had meet her countless times already. But even though, it was the fact he didn't care about their lives that made her upset. And she had had enough of it. She stood up walking right over to the Doctor. Staring right at him, arms crossed and a look on her face that Rory loving called the "Your in deep shit" look.

"Doctor?"

"Yes, Pond."

"We need to talk."

The Doctor looked up at her from his stance. He took in how she was standing, the look on her face. He knew full well that she meant business but he couldn't really care. He had been a year without Akemi. He had been slowly dying for a year and counting. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to find Akemi, he didn't know how to fix her, and worse. He didn't know how to save her.

"Do we now? What about?"

"Akemi."

The Doctor delivered a glare to Lindley that made her take a step back but, her eyes never leaving his. She had struck a nerve. She knew he didn't want to talk about her. Why did she choose to do it now? He stood up a bit, he felt bad that he had made her take a step back from him. He leaned his hip against the console, crossing his arms and giving her a softer look.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to frighten you."

"Who said you did?"

He gave a small smile and a small laugh at the same time. "Oh, Pond. Always the worst liar. Let's talk then."

She cleared her throat. She didn't really think he would agree to talk about Akemi. She knew how sore of a subject she was and that any mention of her always put him in a sour mood. She wasn't expecting her Raggedy Doctor to come back a bit. Even if it were just a flicker. She readjusted her arms a bit but they were still crossed in front of her.

"What...I mean...How are we going to get her back?"

"I don't know. I'm working on it."

"Your lying."

"What?" He was caught off guard. He had expected her to just accept the lie and not say anything about it. He didn't expect her to call him on it.

"I said you're lying. I know you're not working on it. You're...you're being reckless."

"What do you mean? I'm being the same amount of reckless I've always been."

"Doctor...stop it. Stop lying to me. Please. It's not helping. I miss her too."

"Don't."

"She's my best friend. You don't think I miss her? I can't stop thinkin-

"I said, DON'T! Can't you, UNDERSTAND THAT!" He yelled. He hadn't gotten so angry. He didn't mean to but it had just come out.

"What's going on?" Rory called out as he came down the stairs. He looked between his wife and the Doctor. He could visibly see that they were both upset. And judging by the yell the Doctor just did, it was about Akemi. "What are you two talking about?"

The Doctor turned away from them the moment he heard Rory's voice. These were his friends, his best friends. Of course they both missed Akemi. They all did. But Lindley didn't deserve his anger. The only one who did was himself. He blamed himself for Akemi's problem. He blamed himself for not being able to save her. And he blamed himself for his friends hating him. Or so he thought they hated him.

He walked away a bit, placing his hands on the bar next to the pilot's chair, he stared out to where the front door was. His mind going to a memory of Akemi rushing in, a big smile plastered on her face. She was so happy because she had just found her favorite cake and brought some in for him. And that was when he asked her to marry him.

He felt a small smile creep onto his face before frowning because that was the exact spot he had last seen her. Her eyes filled with fear, her voice shaking with uncertainty. That was the spot he had seen her at her happiest and at her most scared moment in life. That was the spot he had last seen his wife. And that was the spot he had started to die.

"We're talking about my wife, Rory. The one woman I can't save. The one woman your wife so desperately wants to talk about."

"I want to talk about her because...I think she would be disappointed in you."

The Doctor turned to look at Lindley. Shock and sorrow were written right across his face. "Disappointed? In me?"

"Yeah. Because of how your going about things. Since she left, you've done dangerous things. Putting Rory and I in danger. You have no remorse anymore. You don't care if people, civilizations die. And you never look back. It's like you have given up."

"That's because I have, Pond. What point is there, if I can't save her!" The Doctor yelled. His shoulders heaved as he took in deep, heavy breaths. "She is my life. And if she's no longer here. What is the point of living?"

Lindley took a step forward, determination in her eyes "There is EVERY reason, Doctor. She would want you to fight. To fight for everything that she believed in, that you believe in. She would want you to be HER Doctor."

He stared at his best friend. She was right, she was always right. It was either her or Akemi that would make him see what the right thing to do was. But she didn't know what he was going through, he slowly turned, his back to Rory and Lindley as he slowly flipped switches, pulled levers, pushed buttons before looking at them.

"I'm sorry. I can't. You don't understand, you don't know how I'm feeling." He flicked one last switched before he fully faced them. "You're home. This is where we part ways."

Lindley watched him push his hands into his pockets. The same look on his face whenever he felt defeated and there was no way of reasoning with him. She knew whatever she said wouldn't work. This was Akemi's area, she was amazing at getting through to him. But she wasn't here anymore and it killed her. She looked at Rory before looking back at the Doctor.

"Fine. You want to do this, then fine. But when you find her, and I mean when because I know you will. You better tell her what you've been up to. Because if you show up with her, and she has no clue I will kill you."

The Doctor looked at her in surprise. He had never heard her talk like that. But then the surprise faded. Why wouldn't she talking like that? He had failed her, failed Rory, failed Beth and most of all he had failed the woman he loves. More than anything in the universe, he had failed her.

"You'd be doing me a favor."

Lindley was taken aback by his answer, shocked that he was being so cold. She saw for the first time how dead inside he felt. She grabbed Rory's hand and pulled him to the front door, with one last look over her shoulder, her eyes connected with the Doctor's. His eyes were so dark and distant. Cold and dead that she had lost her second best friend. She pulled open the door and walked out. Rory followed closing it behind him.

Once they had left, the Doctor wasted no time in leaving. He had set a course for London, hoping to find a distraction of any kind. When he landed he didn't bother with knowing where he was, he just threw open the doors and headed out. London, Earth. The one planet he didn't want to be anywhere near, the one planet he had just left.

He took a step out when he was met with a familiar face. It was Lindley. He wasn't surprised. Time wasn't a straight line. It was wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey. She looked the same except she looked sad. Really sad. He wasn't sure how long he had been away. He cleared his throat and walked towards her, sadness in his and her's eyes.

"Hello"

"What are you doing here?"

The Doctor frowned. Not even a hello or a how are you. Not that he deserved it or anything but he did expect it from her. But she was cold and not really caring at the moment. Something had happened, besides Akemi's disappearance; no something else was wrong.

"I landed here, after dropping you and Rory off. Where is the roman?"

"Not here. Which you shouldn't be either. Now leave."

"Lindley-"

"NO! Doctor! You dropped us off because you were too afraid to admit that you had changed. You just left us behind like some damaged animal that you couldn't be bothered to care about. You left, Doctor. Now you should leave for good."

"I didn't come here by choice. But you know the TARDIS. She's always bringing me places for a reason."

"I don't care the reason." She took a step forward, staring him down "Do you understand what has happened?"

He froze, had something happened to Rory? Or to Beth? He was afraid to say anything that might confirm his fears. He turned away, his hands on his hips, his mind was racing faster than normal. As he rubbed his face he was afraid to face Lindley. The hatred and anger in her eyes said all that he needed to know about how she felt towards him. He saw that he had lost his friend. One of his best friends because, of his behavior and he didn't blame her for one second. Once again it was his fault.

"What's happened?"

"Rory and I are on the verge of a divorce. Akemi's parents, they- they died not know what happened to their daughter. In fact while you were gone for the last few months her entire family, her brother's, her niece, her grandmother and her parents were all killed in an accident. So you can tell her when she gets back, that's right I said when. Because it was your job to protect them! Your job to make sure they knew what was going on!"

The Doctor's eyes froze on Rory across the street who was now glaring at him. They were divorcing? Akemi's family was dead? All because of him? He saw Rory cross the street and began making his way over, the Doctor had decided it was time to go. But as soon as he started to move, the roman was in front of him in and in one swift movement he felt something hit him in the face. He had been hit by Rory before but, this was different. There was so much anger and rage behind it that he knew he deserved it. He composed himself before looking at him. A frown firmly set on his face as he looked at his friend with sad, dead, vacant eyes.

"Rory."

"That was for everything you've put us all through. What are you doing here?"

"I was just leaving."

Rory scoffed "Running away, yeah, you're real good at that. At least you can do one thing right."

The Doctor's face got dark "Don't you DARE talk that way to me. There's no way I can save her!"

"But she's not the only one you have been letting down, Doctor! You take people, they idolize you, never wanting to let you down and in the end it hurts them more than you will EVER know. You mess with people's lives, Doctor. As if it's all some sort of game for you. Except we don't regenerate."

"I-" He wasn't sure what to say. What Rory had just said was the truth, more than that it was fact. He just watched Rory's eyes burn with anger as he turned around, grabbing Lindley by the hand who had been looking at the Doctor with sad eyes, and the two walked off. Two of his very best friends having just walked out of his life. Was it for good? He didn't know. He wasn't sure he wanted to know.

He sighed as he rubbed his eyes and walked slowly back into the TARDIS. Slowly climbing the stairs, he felt as if his second heart was fully broken. Losing his wife had made him feel like both his hearts had broken but he felt like one still was a little alive because he still had Rory and Lindley. Now they were both gone. He had lost everyone that he loves. He hadn't realized he had been yelling until he heard someone open the door. He turned around to see a blond woman around the same age as Akemi looking at him with concern.

"Are you alright?" She asked

He frowned. How had she gotten in? No one invited her in. "I'm fine. Who are you?"

"Rose. Rose Chandler."

"Get out."

She frowned "Excuse me? I was just checking to see if you were alright, mate."

"I'm not your mate and I told you I was fine. You don't belong here."

"So? I don't really belong anywhere. Where do you belong?"

He stood there and looked at her. His thoughts escaping him as he thought about her question. Where did he belong? He belonged with Akemi, not really growing old with her, having a family when they decided to. Having fun with Lindley and Rory. That's where he belonged. He looked away, turning his back to this woman who was now in his home.

"I belong here. This is my home."

She looked around, finally realizing where she was. Her eyes were huge as she took everything in. "Where the hell are we?"

The Doctor had climbed the stairs and was now by the console, his eyes sad. He looked over at her and realized that she was dressed for Christmas. Was it really christmas when he had landed? He thought about it and it was. Lindley was talking to him in the snow, Rory was bundled up. He barely noticed the people caroling. Then he heard a song that Akemi loved on this day, It's Beginning to look a lot like Christmas. A single tear fell from his eye as he clenched them shut tightly. He began to flip switches and push buttons and pull levers, forgetting that Rose was inside.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?"

He heard her shout as he looked over at her. "I'm the Doctor. This is a time machine, it travels in space and time. If you would like to stay get a grip or get out!"

Rose took in the look on his face and slowly nodded

"Good, now grab hold onto something. I'm not responsible for you. Take care of yourself. But under no circumstance bring anyone here or tell them about the TARDIS."

"What's a TARDIS?"

"What we're in. Time And Relative Dimension In Space. T.A.R.D.I.S. Now hold on tight."

* * *

**Hey guys! Sorry for the lack of updating. Things have been so incredibly BUSY! I'm going to try and update a lot more. Come january I will be working a lot more so updating might now happen a lot. Leave me what you think!**


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